is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
