remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize