Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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