what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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