I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
