I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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