If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
