do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
