nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
