you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
