never play flip cup with pint glasses
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
