Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
This is the high leading the old right now
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
