I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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