Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
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