So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
