I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Come on in and take your pants off
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