I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
