perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
