i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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