My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
