It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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