My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
