I CAN MOONWALK!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.