Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
home. puking in laundry basket.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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