I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
