i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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