You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
how drunk are you?
Several
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
