I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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