Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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