i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
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