you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
