i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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