Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
