If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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