Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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