Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Boobs are out for the taking
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
