i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
