in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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