hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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