I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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