We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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