I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
