Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
