i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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