I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
