If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
