Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
