Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize