Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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