I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
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