You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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