The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
