Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I am naked and annoyed.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
