So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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