That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
