he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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