I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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