Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
