I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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